Hey, Heifer. It’s 1:00 a.m oops. I’m hanging out with my friends and I’m tired which is ironic because this episode is about striving for a healthier sleep routine. But here we are. Mmm. I can’t tell you how hard it is to write this little paragraph that no one reads after midnight. What’s the point? Who am I? Why don’t I call pancakes flap jacks? Flap jacks sounds way cooler. I’m hungry and I want pancakes. Shit, FLAP JACKS. Okay, I’m off to bed lolol jk I’m still listening to the episode and doing timestamps. This hell will never end.
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00:00 Zzzzzzz I’m not a health professional zzzzz feel free to take a nap during this episode zzzzzzzz.
1:13 I have a negative thought pattern that nighttime is my only chance to be happy and the daytime is EVIL. Thus, I stay up late, ruin my sleep cycle, and end up being even more depressed/anxious during the day.
2:40 Notification Fatigue. The fear of being left “on read.”
5:24 Sleep is one of the biggest influences on my mental health. That knowledge stressed me out so much that I suddenly had alarm anxiety. (“Will my alarm go off?” Jerking awake throughout the night thinking I’ve missed my alarm, etc.).
8:58 I’m a night owl and I adjust way too quickly to staying up until 4 a.m. I’m energized by the idea that no one can interrupt me, flashbacks to secret staying up past my bedtime as a kid to read books by a flashlight, etc.
10:38 Recently, my depression has thrown a wrench in my sleep schedule. Obviously the physical symptoms, but I’ve been ignoring tasks and the stress builds up the longer I put them off (and then I do them and it takes me, like, 15 minutes lol).
12:40 Losing sleep over the idea that I will immediately ruin my morning which will then ruin my day :).
15:30 All of this to say, what happens during my day and my thought patterns greatly affect how I go about my sleep.
18:00 Depression makes me want to do less so my body and brain aren’t getting worked out which means there’s nothing tiring me out.
20:00 Dumb thoughts while staring at the ceiling, like fake arguments and disaster scenarios that aren’t real.
24:00 So now I’ve annoyed myself enough about not sleeping and trying to be healthier that I’m finally taking action lol. Reframing the why helped–I want to wake up to be more productive vs. this is actually more about me not wanting to accept that I have a mental health disorder that will be with me for life.
27:30 Thanks for listening! Lovies to my Patrons: KT & Oti, Vanessa, Rachel, Laura, and Taylor! <3
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You can find the show notes for this episode at www.anguseyetea.com.
I am not a health professional. I am simply someone who was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Please talk to your friends, family, teachers, doctor, trusted human, etc. if you need help. I also have a resources page on my website that can direct you to different hotlines, therapy websites, and more at https://anguseyetea.com/resources/